American Assassin, mother!, Rebel in the Rye. By Debbie Schlussel. Sorry that I don’t love the movie over which everyone’s expecting me to gush, but I really didn’t like anything new at the movies, this weekend.* American Assassin – Rated R: This is the movie about Mitch Rapp, the CIA assassin protagonist of the series of novels by the late Vince Flynn. I was really looking forward to this and expecting something great. But that’s not what I got. Despite the undue gushing over this by predictable groupies and jock- sniffers like Rush Limbaugh, this movie is absolutely no different than the typical drivel you get from everyone else in politically correct Hollywood. Limbaugh had multiple orgasms on the air telling listeners about how he met Flynn, about his personal special screening of this movie, and how “great” it is–it isn’t.) Yes, there are a few Muslim terrorists at the beginning–and even the government of Iran is made to seem like the bad guy, AT FIRST–but in the end, Iran isn’t so bad, and the only real bad guy here is the typical bete noir terrorist in Hollywood movies: a former CIA agent who is crazy and has gone rogue (for reasons that really aren’t explained).

Yaaaaawn. How many times have we seen that before? Um, Jason Bourne, anyone? Also, I was absolutely underwhelmed by actor Dylan O’Brien, the lightweight who plays the title hero. It’s no surprise that “Mitch” rhymes with bitch. The guy looks and sounds like a wuss, even despite the macho fighting scenes (undoubtedly performed by a stunt double).

We're still adapting our Best of What's New pages from prior to 2014--thanks for your patience! Until then, take a look at our 2014 BOWN winners.

Buy The War: A Film by Ken Burns and Lynn Novick: Read 2015 Movies & TV Reviews - Amazon.com. The screenshot above shows the results of a Splatoon 2 match I played over the weekend. You’ll notice my team won by a tenth of a percent. If you look closely, you. Issuu is a digital publishing platform that makes it simple to publish magazines, catalogs, newspapers, books, and more online. Easily share your publications and get. Sorry that I don’t love the movie over which everyone’s expecting me to gush, but I really didn’t like anything new at the movies, this weekend. * American.

He has a baby face and the feminine voice of a wimpy kid from suburban New York. He should be in a boy band, not in this movie. There’s no macho here. The guy isn’t very manly, even when he sports a beard.

Lizzie Cundy, 47, shows off some serious sideboob in a revealing white swimsuit with a low-cut neckline as she hits the beach in the Maldives.

His acting is abysmal–not that you’d expect more from a guy who is best known for starring on MTV, which nobody watches anymore. The acting in this is mostly schlocky and amateurish and performed rotely by unknowns. The real star–the only person worth paying attention to here–is Michael Keaton. But I didn’t really enjoy watching him being tortured by having his fingernails pulled out and being electrocuted.

Yes, this movie is extremely violent, bloody, and graphic, which would have been fine, if the terrorists doing the torturing were Muslim (as they almost always are in real life). But the “manicurist” here is the aforementioned renegade CIA agent, known as “The Ghost.”Sure, I loved the fight and action scenes in this movie. Other than Keaton, they are the best thing to watch in this. But please show me one instance in the real world in which “the real terrorist” trying to get a nuclear bomb and attacking American agents is a rogue American agent who isn’t Muslim. If they did a movie about Bradley a/k/a Chelsea Manning betraying America, working with Muslims, and then frolicking in makeup and a red bathing suit with Vogue’s Anna Wintour, fine.

But this movie is nothing like that. The story: Mitch Rapp is some guy (they never tell you anything about him) who makes a cheesy, hokey proposal to his sexy girlfriend on the beach. We see this on shaky footage of his cellphone. But, then, Islamic terrorists attack the beach, and the girlfriend is killed.

Note that the terrorists never make an “allahu [FUBAR]” declaration before the attack and the words “Islam” and “jihad” are never mentioned, not even once. This movie is as sanitized as possible. Mitch decides to get revenge on the terrorists, tracks them online, and the CIA is watching as he goes to them somewhere in the Middle East. The CIA is impressed, so it recruits him as the “next big thing” assassin, and he is sent to Michael Keaton’s farm to train.

Someone is obtaining parts to put together a nuclear bomb and start the next world war. Ostensibly, it’s supposed to be Iran, but it’s really the rogue CIA guy, “The Ghost.” The rest of the movie is spent trying to track down The Ghost and stop him. And those Iranians–well, they aren’t so bad. In fact, their intelligence minister and his niece don’t want to attack Israel. Awwww . . . how charitable of them. Unlike Limbaugh and the rest of the groupies, I judge all Hollywood movies by the same standards.

And by my standards, this is yet another exercise in PC hackery, no matter who wrote it or whether or not they gave Limbaugh a private screening to make him feel important, so he’d predictably pay them back by praising their crap. HALF A MARXWatch the trailer . Rated R: More like “Mother—- er! You Wasted Two Hours & One Minute of My Life I’ll Never Get Back!” I hated this pretentious, long, boring exercise in far- left New Age psychobabble gobbledygook.

The studio required us to read their many- pages- long BS pimping this movie before we saw it. I read it, and tried miserably to stay awake while doing so. Watch Wonderland Streaming. The pages quoted the movie’s insane writer and director, Darren Aronofsky (who is also sleeping with the movie’s star, Jennifer Lawrence), as saying the movie is some sort of allegory about climate change and deniers and people in the Western world fighting over the world’s resources when the world’s population is so large and there isn’t enough.

He also seemed to indict voters for Trump and the current political climate. PUH- LEEZE, will you just Shut the F— Up?! By the way, I suppose this accounts for the dumb affectation of the lower- cased movie title–I guess Aronofsky, a typical limousine liberal, didn’t want to waste a capital “M.”Then, I screened the movie, and the first half of it is actually entertaining and mysterious . Feel Good Baby Cannibalism Movie of the Year!” Comedic actress Kristen Wiig makes an appearance and summarily executes a bunch of human beings, after which a baby is murdered and a bunch of people rip it apart and eat it. If that’s what you want to spend ten- bucks- plus on, for entertainment, you’re deranged. The movie is just nuts and a complete waste of two hours (and one minute) of your life you’ll never get back. Paradox Full Movie Online Free there.

This piece of garbage “film” tells the story of a young woman (Lawrence) married to an older man (Jew- hater Javier Bardem) who is some sort of relatively famous poet/novelist. He has writer’s block, and they are holed up in an old mansion in the middle of the country, where he is trying to write his next best- seller. She is restoring the house, though she is haunted by it and feels the “life” living within its walls.

She also wants to have a baby. One night, an older man (Ed Harris)–a stranger–shows up at their home, claiming he thought it was a bed- and- breakfast.

He inveigles his way into their home and their life, against Lawrence’s wishes. He ends up staying the night, then his wife (Michelle Pfeiffer) shows up, then his family, and soon they are taking over the house as if it’s their own. Suddenly, the house is overwhelmed by people, and Lawrence is shocked and angry that no one will listen to her. They are taking apart her house.

I laughed at the chutzpah of all of these people, but the movie soon becomes stupid and unbelievable with no discernible plot or point. It just gets completely ridiculous and makes the whole first half–no, the whole movie!–pointless. Mother——!, indeed. FOUR MARXES PLUS FOUR OBAMAS PLUS FOUR MICHELLE LAVAUGHN ROBINSON HUSSEIN OBAMA IDI AMIN DADAS PLUS TWO ISIS BEHEADINGSWatch the trailer . Rebel in the Rye – Rated PG- 1. As I’ve noted on this site before, I think that J.

D. Salinger is the most overrated writer in American history. And his novel, “The Catcher in the Rye,” is the most overrated novel in America. It’s crap, picked by liberal “educators” and forced on high school students across America every year, so it continues to make the Salinger family and estate zillions of dollars. It seems the whole idea of the book–the reason the uber- liberal Salinger wrote it–was to start this trend (which is now status quo) in which there is no respect for authority and parents and adults are idiots. If the novel came out today, it would sound like every other pointless, angsty, overwrought Young Adult novel.