Family Guy/Season 1. Wikiquote. Family Guy is an animated television series created by Seth Mac. Farlane for FOX in 1. The show was cancelled in 2. DVDs and reruns on Adult Swim, production of new episodes for FOX resumed in 2. Family Guy and all related characters, episodes and quotes are a copyright of 2.

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The fourth season of the animated comedy series Family Guy aired on Fox from May 1, 2005, to May 21, 2006, and consisted of thirty episodes, making it the longest.

Friendly fire! Any volunteers? Herbert: ! That happens when I'm cold. Chris: But why are there 3 of them?! Meg: There aren't!

Two of them are moles. Chris: Those numbers still don't add up! Lois: Oh, look who's back; the grave robber.

Peter: Hey, Lois. Lois: So, what happened? You find your treasure? Peter: No, I realised something after you left; It's not the treasure that matters. All that really matters is the money you get in exchange for the treasure.

I guess I had to learn that the hard way. Chip: Her voice! It's like God sneezing!

I can taste what he eats. Teacher at a PTA meeting: So, in short; your kids are all doing great. Keep reading to them every night and I think we're going to have a great year. So, unless there's any questions, thank you all for coming. Cheetah: Eh, yeah.. I noticed the hot lunch menu doesn't feature any gazelle.

I- I heard that last year and . Chip is that African kid you adopted? Peter: No that's Chocolate Chip. We gave him back to Kenya. Where should we start looking for Glen? Peter: Well, sometimes Quagmire likes to hang out under all the clutter in my garage, so why don't we just start sorting stuff and throwing stuff away, but obviously checking with me first before you throw stuff away. Meg: He's going to kill me!

I can already picture my funeral! Oh God! Peter: ? I got you good! I want it back. Peter, hold it down, I'm getting a gun! Brian: You gonna put your clothes on? Peter: Yes, yes, I swear. Brian: You gonna keep 'em on?

Peter: Yes, I promise. I'll never bother you again with my body. Please, just make this stop! Kingsman: The Secret Service Movie Watch Online. Brian: Good. Man: You renounced your citizenship? Peter: Oh, I did that on the Italian .

We haven't done it like that since we were engaged, but allowed to sleep with other people. Lois: What are you talking about? We're Italian now. Brian: What?! Meg: Are you kidding?

Stewie: Well, if we're going to be Italian, I guess we should start murdering our brothers. You break- a my heart.

Stewie: ! Brian, can you hear me? Peter: Holy crap! What the hell happened?! Squirrel: ! You have a bad reputation in the chicken community. Stewie: Dammit, Brian, you can't die! We were gonna do so many things together! We were gonna become windsurfers!

I was gonna be a little better than you, but we were both gonna be good! You've given me a wonderful life..

I love you all.. He's gone. Chris: . He's.. Lois: . I'm afraid.. I'm afraid that our Brian is dead. Quagmire: . I can be Goo. Stewie: Meg, could you zip up your fly? That's kind of wafting over here.

Chris: So did you get a lot of trim on the road? Peter: ! Y'know, a whole lot of other families would've just gotten another dog and moved on. Stewie: Oh, oh, w.. You're my best friend, and I love you. Stewie: All I can say, Brian, is you've been making really creepy eye contact with me all morning, and I want it to stop right now. Hartman about his impotency, stating he is embarrassed.

And that title could be a fairy tale or a porn. Let's find out. Rumpleforeskin/Quagmire: Where'd that thing come from? It's blocking my view of Little Miss Muffet's truffet. I'M DONE WITH YOU! I'M DONE WITH ALL YOUR CRAP, I NEVER WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN! THIS FRIENDSHIP IS OVER! I don't need your friendship anyway.

Peter: Now this is a gun without a safety. I need you to shoot me in the arm and we can be friends again. Quagmire: Okay. Peter: ! No, no, I was supposed to offer, and then you were supposed to say, . I'm gonna shoot you like a dirty animal. That's not net, I'm talking gross.

Peter: ! It's game time! Peter: Alright! This is the greatest Sunday tradition ever.. Hey, where's the Monkey Rabbi? Here's your torah, you'll be here on Tuesday at 9: 0.

Check in with Shirley. Darth Vader: You gonna need me this week? Peter: Uh, maybe. Maybe Friday. Uh, now where are the gays? Gay Man: Over here. Peter: No, no, no.

The really cartoony gays. Cartoony Gay Guy: Yoooo- hoooooo!!! Peter: There you are, we're gonna need you guys all week. Cleveland: Hey, Death. What are you doing here? Death: Actually, I'm.. Cleveland: Ah, come on, man.

I'm on vacation. Peter: And you still won't give us an Emmy?! If Modern Family did that joke, you'd be carryin' 'em around on your shoulders!! Chris: Hey, Dad, are you busy?

I was thinking we could spend some time together. Peter: Okay, are you a television set of the Internet? Chris: No. Peter: Oh, then no.! The moonlight burns! Peter: It's almost Christmas. It's almost Christmas. Peter's Twin: Christmas?

Peter: Yes. Keep being good, and all the eggshells and coffee grounds will be yours. Peter's Twin: Can I meet the family? Peter: You've overstepped! No Christmas! Carter: ! God, I wish there was a way I could just do it myself, y'know, just to be done and napping within four minutes. Chris: Let me show you something..

Carter looks relaxed. And Linda Carter wasn't actually here? Chris: No, that was just in your mind! Carter: Incredible!

So you can do that, like what, once a year or something? Chris: No, you can do it basically whenever you're not doing something else. Carter: Cool! Hey, next time I wanna try it with my hand. But if you squint and imagine it says . Take it next door.

Peter: Now, now, hold on, Lois. Now, this poses a very difficult ethical dilemma. Do I deliver the package to its rightful owner? Or do I open it up and see if it contains He- Mans? Lois: Do not open that box! I'm the Rational Lion. So fuck you guys.

You're gonna say something you don't mean. Lois: Oh, no, I'm not! You're an idiot! Peter: You don't mean that. Stewie: . Is that weird? Lois: Peter, I have put up with your nonsense for 2. You let the helpless baby in the public park. And that's only an idiot would do!

Ha, ha, ha. Chris: ? Well, sniff on this! Brian: Holy crap! I'm so much faster on all fours! That is tough. But once you're in there, you'll be surprised how much you like it. No wonder you hate me. Peter: I don't hate ya, Meg.

You're my kid. Cleveland: Wassup?! Where do I even begin? Y'know, it's not a good sign that this is the first time a lot of people are realizing you had a show! Joe: Your logo was stupid. Looked like a big purple penis and your ratings blew. Cleveland: We did about the same as Bob's Burgers.

Quagmire: That's your bar?! Oh, shame on you!

Cleveland: This is good. This is constructive. Quagmire: The talking bear was so bad, Seth Mac. Farlane quit voicing him after Season 2. Cleveland: It's hard to make a talkin' bear funny. Quagmire: ? Who did you make it for? Like, some black guy who never met another black guy?

Cleveland: Anything else? Peter: Yeah, here's four seasons worth of DVDs of what we've been up to.

Y'know, just so you're back up to speed. And I'll warn ya ahead of time, these have jokes in 'em.

Cleveland: I.. I don't have a DVD player. Stewie: Hey, Lois, look, I'm smoking! You can't control dick! I'm a roof baby now!!

Unga- Bunga! Stewie: What is that? What's happening? Peter & Chris: Unga- Bunga! Unga- Bunga! Brian: Peter, what are you doing? Peter: Playing . It's the championship. Stewie: Go away! This is why Zillow estimates our house at $4. Brian: What the hell is !

I'm trying to watch my program! Peter: Oh, Chris, look! Mom's naked! Chris: Where? Peter: . I asked you one thing in this house!

Brian: Stewie, just watch your show upstairs.

Watch Episodes of Family Guy on tbs. It's topical. It takes political correctness, wraps it in a paper bag and leaves it flaming on Mary Whitehouse's doorstep before ringing the doorbell and running away. Best of all, it's twelve different kinds of funny. Family Guy is comedy for all tastes.